In front of you. Over your head. At your feet. The tips of your fingers, the buzz in your ears, the fatigue in your muscles, the images behind your eyelids after you pass into your deepest sleep. Your education is intimate, while it is socially ignited and brought to light via personal interaction, it is nothing more than individual acceptance and application – pure unencumbered selfishness.
“LET ME SEE!” we scream when we’re 7. “What happened?” we ask when we’re 15. “I stopped listening,” when we’re 22. Why? Why are we stifled when we’re young, told that it’s inappropriate to want to participate when it’s not “our turn” to learn. Making a second attempt in life, later we begin to “break out of our shell” and start our social education, but again crushed by the unimaginable weight of social denial, the first harsh reflection of our own self preserving attitude back toward us, halting our lust to learn. So then we come to the age of apathy and consequential ineptitude, save actions of apathy and positions of ineptitude. We begin to acknowledge our indifference to understanding our world, we fall into a world of mime, continually acting out our world behind a glass wall, protected from change, weather, God… safe not asking questions, safe from thinking, safe from listening to our world about and around us. And those of us who are perpetually on the fence of academia learn to fall into the safe arms of cynicism. We create our own world of indifference, except it’s atmosphere is filled with available knowledge, it’s inhabitants are lustful individuals who seek the meekest form of knowledge, but always they look over their shoulder and deep into the fruit, fearful of rot. I’ve ended up in a world where I can’t accept any formal education as it seems tainted. The reality of cheaters, lairs, finaglers, and free-loaders has long since past through my understanding and is now the model by which my world is magnified. For that I despair. For that I strive to re-evaluate my understanding of Education. For that I close my eyes, turn my palms up, and eat anything you put into my hands.
There is a manner in which our education can be a gift to society, a means to better the world in which we live, still striking out to benefit from our actions and decision. So then what is it we give? How can selfishness be a means by which society benefits? I don’t know. Is it a form of encouragement? Goal setting? Pride and arrogance? Preying upon our human desire to be competitively superior individuals. So then we only thrive because we are inherently social, however we drive ourselves into social demise because we are inherently selfish. Damn – so where does that put us?**
**Free-form, unedited, ineloquent, … just thoughts all at once, provoked by conversations from the weekend.
—otherwise— Writing to avoid writing. – interesting. The allure of the ocean, passion, friends? Growing up as the ideal causes loss? – essay on reasons for avoidance – She, her, how? – blatant subject change to resume avoidance. – Lost. Again. Really?